A Communal Rule of Love... And Geese

Most of us have a love/hate relationship with rules. We know we need rules because we've had experiences in traffic, or, playing a game with someone who kept breaking the rules. Basketball was my sport of choice growing up and one of the most annoying things was when one of the guys from our local hockey team would join the game and play basketball with hockey rules! So annoying!  

Yet, rules have also been harmful. As we saw in Jesus’ day, religious people made rules more important than people. Rules have been used to exclude people, create special categories of “us” and “them,” “winners” and “losers.”

Life is not a game of winners and losers; life is a gift given to us so that we can learn to love well.  

I first heard Brian Zahnd say this. I’m not sure it’s original with him, but either way, it’s brilliant and I believe it is true. If there are any rules at all, they are for the purpose of learning to love well and love better.

Our teaching text was from Romans 13 where Paul wrote, “Whoever love fulfills the Law” (Romans 13:8). The Romans were grappling with the laws or rules, and Paul assured them that now in Christ, there is no “law” or rule except to “love one another,” and any rules we implement are for this purpose alone.

We host a lot of international homestay students in our home, and on one occasion, a high school student who was unhappy with her previous homestay, came to “check us out,” as a possible alternative, and her first question was, “What are the rules?” I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes and said, “We have one rule in our home… be considerate of each other.” Of course, we had to work out what that would look like with her in our specific setting, but I wanted her to know that the bottom line was love. A rule of love is not set in stone. It may vary depending on who we are and the season of life we are in. For example, a 30 km/hr speed limit is very loving on the street I live on, but it might not be very loving on the freeway. A “sabbath” may vary on whether you are a parent of young children, or an empty- nester.

Early in the Fall, I was trying to find a way to communicate the idea of a “rule of love” in a way that all generations could understand it because I was presenting it in a service where all our kids were present. One morning the week before, as I was having devotions on our deck, I looked up and saw a flock of geese flying in their iconic “V” formation. Why do geese fly this way? It’s not just a fancy design. Each bird, as it flaps its wings, is creating lift for their fellow birds, reducing resistance, allowing them to fly further with less effort. Researchers have found that geese can fly seventy percent farther together than when they fly alone. When a goose falls out of formation, they quickly realize that it takes a lot more energy to try to fly alone. Very quickly, they move back into formation and work as part of the group again. So, you could describe their decision to fly in formation as rule of love… What geese show us is…

We fly farther when we fly together. 

In the creation story, after creating so many things that God pronounced as good, what was the first thing that God said was not good, even before anyone had sinned? God, said, “It is not good to be alone.”  Adam had God, but it still was not good! All across the world, we are experiencing "the great resignation." Many vocations are experiencing labour shortages because people are burning out. Huge numbers of pastors are resigning and churches are closing down because of a lack of volunteers. There is no question that the pandemic and the state of our current world has produced this exhaustion. But I wonder how much of the fatigue is due to isolation. Isolation is like carbon monoxide poisoning, where you don’t realize its toxic affects on you until it’s too late.  

As I watched this flock of geese flying in formation, I was intrigued to see one of them break away from the V and then circled back and joined the V again. I had never seen this before and curious as to what it meant, I consulted “St. Google,” (to quote Dan Pontalti!) and surprisingly, I was not able to find an answer. What I did discover is that an individual goose is never left alone. If a goose gets sick or injured or tired, and is not able to stay with the flock, several other geese will stay with the lone goose until they are able to fly again and join the rest of the flock, or if not, until the goose dies. So, the second thing that geese show us with regards to a communal rule of love is…

No one is left alone. I have seen beautiful examples of this over and over in our community of faith. If people cannot come to church, the church comes to them!   

Thirdly, I discovered that geese are loyal. They mate for life and are protective of their partners and offspring. They will often refuse to leave the side of a sick or injured mate or chick, even if winter is approaching and the other geese in the group are flying south. When a goose’s mate dies, that bird will mourn in seclusion—and some geese spend the rest of their lives as widows or widowers, refusing to mate again. This loyalty is not out of obligation, but due to a deep innate sense of mutual belonging. So, as a communal rule of love, geese demonstrate…

Mutual belonging expressed by life-long loyalty.

Not only do geese take turns in flight, but when they are feeding on land, they gather in what are called, “gaggles,” where multiple families of geese come together. While they are feeding, one or two are on sentry duty, and they take turns, rotating their sentry duty, just like we do at church on Sundays. So, they serve one another to give each other a break, so that they are not always on guard duty. Then they can attend to self-care, like eating, sleeping, rest. We are endeavoring to do this on Sundays and we are invited into this in our life together between Sundays as well. How are we ensuring that each other can Sabbath, take breaks, and replenish? How can we serve each other in that way? Geese show us that a communal rule of love involves…

Rhythms of serving one another (so we can all attend to self-care)

And finally, have you ever heard geese “honking?” As mentioned, when the lead goose gets tired, they rotate from the front to the back, but then they “honk” encouragement to the new leader and to those in front of them! There is no ego here! They do not mind letting others take the lead, and rather than being armchair quarterbacks and criticizing from the back, they cheer the others on!   

There is such a famine of encouragement in our culture. I recently underwent a series of medical tests including blood work, x-rays, MRIs, and respiratory tests. Each time, I’ve felt strongly to express my gratitude to the technicians. I say something like, “Thank you for being so conscientious and thorough. Keep up the good work!” As I shared this, it felt like each of those technicians were soaking in the encouragement like dry sponges! When I recently ran the 10k Sunrun, I recorded my fastest 10k on record. I think one significant factor was that at every milestone, there were cheerleaders all along the way, at key milestones, cheering us on, making noise, blowing horns, banging drums. My favourite was a group of First Nations singers and dancers, at the 9km. mark. At the top of the last hill, there was a guy dressed like the grim reaper with a sign saying, “It’s all downhill from here!”

Every Sunday after church, our church administrator, Tae, sends me the agenda for our Tuesday staff meeting, and along with it, he always sends one or two lines of encouragement about our gathering Sunday. It always means so much to me. Encouragement means to give someone courage. Discouragement takes away someone’s courage. Yes, we also need healthy and constructive criticism for growth, and even correction sometimes, but all must be with an underlying heart to encourage. We are called to be a community of encouragement and make it a rule of loving well.  So, geese teach us that a communal rule of love includes

A Culture of Encouragement

So, in summary, we can learn from geese that a communal rule of love means that:  

    We fly farther when we fly together. 

    We leave no one behind.

    We belong to one another

    We observe rhythms of serving and rest

    We cultivate a culture of encouragement

A Communal Rule of Love is designed for specific community in a specific place and specific time to help us practice and grow in the art of loving well.

For Reflection: In light of the current season you are in, what are one or two ways listed above that God might be lovingly inviting you to live more into, in practicing the art of loving well?