Sabbatical 16: "Shades of Jade" (July 18-August 3)

It’s late January, 2016 as I write this, and I am approaching the 20 year milestone of serving as pastor of VEV. I have seen a lot of things over these years of living, working, and worshiping in my Vancouver neighbourhood (25 years in total). Our church community has hovered between 80-100 in attendance. We’ve seen the planting of two churches, served thousands of chili-wagon meals on Commercial Drive, and have enjoyed a remarkable relationship with a tiny remote First Nations community on the Yukon Border for 21 years. We’ve had a steady stream of Regent students come through, many of whom fulfilled their supervised ministry requirements in our church while serving as pastoral assistants. While they received mentoring and training, they also etched their own positive mark on our church, and have now moved on to fruitful service elsewhere. Some of these remarkable people included Alec Arnold, Patrick Wicker, Susan Harrison, Christa Gerber, Dawson McKay, and our son-in-law, Markus Akert.  

One of the greatest difficulties of the past 20 years has been having to say “goodbye” to so many deeply loved individuals and families. My heart has been shattered over and over again. There have been seasons where we’ve enjoyed vibrant children and youth ministries, only to see them dwindle at the end of that season, when kids have grown older, or leaders have moved away. When I was younger, I could scramble to fill the holes. I can’t do that anymore. How do I keep from becoming "jaded?" What do I mean? Probably the greatest risk in a place like this is vision, and a close second is the state of my own heart. It means allowing myself to default to merely being “faithful” and just going through the motions. It means no longer embracing paradox: the paradox of surrendering dreams over and over again, without giving up on those dreams; the paradox of being realistic about “what is” while continuing to “see the unseen.” It is a "realism" that does not take into account God’s promises. All this results in jadedness. Jadedness is the loss of innocence and the sense of wonder we had as children. Last Saturday at our inter-church prayer gathering, Pax, now 7, declared, "I may be small but I have an imagination as big as this building!" These were important issues to address in my own heart going into the sabbatical. I had been in danger of “shades of jade."  

A Soft Re-Entry

Kathleen and I returned to Vancouver on Friday, July 17, and attended church the following Sunday for the first time since departing for sabbatical in early April. We enjoyed a peaceful and joyful reunion with our church family. Indeed, we felt free to just "be there," without having a role at that time and for the rest of the summer. This was such a remarkable gift and testament to the maturity and character of our church!   

  

The following week, I was scheduled to perform my first wedding at St. David of Wales Church, our new VEV home. The story of this wedding began 15 years ago at VEV when a lovely Korean woman, her teen daughter, and six-year old son began attending our church while we were meeting at the old Grace Chinese Mennonite Church on Graveley and Commercial (2000-2003).  They caught my eye immediately and memories stirred in me of my first trip to Korea in 1985. We found out later that the Shin family’s father was a missionary who was constantly taking covert missions into parts of the world that were hostile to the Gospel, and so had to stay “under the radar.”  The teen girl, whose Korean name is 신해원, (Haewan Shin), we came to know as Jessica, or “Jess.” She became great friends with our daughter, Danielle, also a teen at the time.

It's Best Not To Know Some Things... 

Dee and Jess, still great friends, oh, and
Hannah too!

We found out only recently how the Shin family came to our church. Danielle was enjoying her new-found independence as a teenager, and was involved in the high school party scene at various venues around the city. Jessica, who was going through a time of reaction and rebellion against the church was intrigued to find out that Danielle was not only the life of the party, but also a pastor’s daughter. She insisted on her mom taking her to our church to check us out! It resulted in a friendship that continues to this day and she became a part of our crazy VEV youth group.

Eventually, this family also moved on and Jessica went on to be a youth pastor in Surrey. She began speaking to teens on the topic of Sexual Integrity in high schools. We had her speak to our church a few years back, and late last year, we connected again relationally. Early in our sabbatical year, she asked Kathleen and I for mentoring support for a romantic relationship she had formed with a young man, Peter Lillehoj, who was a research professor at Michigan State University. Peter had just recently obtained a 1.8 million US dollar research grant to develop a rapid response diagnosis of malaria, one of the most infectious diseases in the world, through cellphone technology. For more information, read here.

At the end of last year, we were able to meet Peter for the first time and we instantly felt a common bond with him. He was very familiar with the Vineyard, having attended the first Vineyard church in history in Hollywood during his college days. (Just to be clear, he wasn’t there when it started - he’s not old enough for that!) Peter had a humble and disarming demeanor. We enjoyed watching him and Jess together. We felt they were a great match. We were honored when they asked us to consider doing their pre-engagement mentoring. With Peter living in Michigan, and Jess still living in BC, we went through the material from January to March, with the help of google hangouts, except when Peter happened to be in town for a visit. We were able to get the preparation done before our sabbatical, and by then, Peter had proposed to Jessica, and she had accepted.

The Gift of Memory

I was honored, indeed, overjoyed, when they asked me if I would perform the wedding ceremony for them at St. David of Wales Church. Their plan was to have only us with their immediate family present along with a professional videographer who would document the ceremony, and edit it into a presentation that could be shown at several wedding receptions they would host in different parts of the country and world - including one here in the Lower Mainland, then the eastern USA, Southern California, and Korea. The date we had planned for was July 23, just a few days into our “soft re-entry” from sabbatical. This took a lot of our first week back. It involved a wedding rehearsal followed by a dinner, meeting family, and practical preparations, followed by the reception in Langley. Nevertheless, it was the perfect re-entry for me. We enjoyed meeting Jessica’s parents again, 신문철 과 오예리 (Moonchal and Yeiri), with whom we had spent a wonderful evening in Seoul in April.  We also enjoyed meeting Peter’s wonderful parents. His mom, 현순 (Hyun Soon) Lillehoj, is a world renowned researcher in poultry immunization. She had just received a lifetime achievement award from President Obama for her work. You can find more about that here.

It was a remarkable first week back and the wedding was breathtakingly beautiful. Perhaps the most moving moment for me, next to watching Jess being brought in by her parents, was watching Peter declare his vows to Jessica with tears flowing down his cheeks. Not far behind was meeting Jess's Korean grandma and seeing the delight on her face when I introduced myself to her in Korean.  

Experiencing this event was like looking back through a telescope and seeing afresh the wonderful memories of how God has been faithful through the years – through the ups and downs, the tides that had come in and had receded, from the end of one season to the beginning of a new one; all being woven into a story that isn't finished yet; all an antidote for “shades of jade.”

  

ok, probably against my better judgment, I have added this photo but it was Jess and Peter's FB post with the photo that meant so much to us and another cure for any residual "shades of jade." 

From Jess and Peter: "To our most wonderful wedding officiants, marriage mentors, spiritual umma & appa and the actual parents to one of my most oldest and closest friends: thank you for being the source of Light, Love and Learning you have been and continue to be for us! We honor you. 사랑해요 oxx — withKathleen Lagore and Gordie Lagore."

Sabbatical 15: Milestones and Reunions (June 22-July 17)

(Note - I got detoured by Advent and Christmas but I am now resuming reflections from our pastoral sabbatical last year, April-August, 2015).  

It was late June and Kathleen and I were well into our third month of sabbatical with only a few weeks remaining before we would begin “re-entry” back into our church community. I was beginning to feel some anxiety. I wrote our leadership team a note, giving them an update on the sabbatical journey to date and expressed my need for a “soft re-entry.” I had been taught in my days at Regent College that pastors need to learn to “join their churches,” if they want to lead them well. What this means is that pastors need seasons where they can simply be part of the community, connecting relationally, without leading anything. The VEV leadership team graciously agreed that this was fitting and right for the remaining summer months, and so, with peace of mind, Kathleen and I headed out on our last road trip of the sabbatical.

In the heart of Roger's Pass, June 23

I was greatly anticipating the drive through the Rocky Mountains, something I have always loved to do, but hadn’t done so for a long time. We departed from Vancouver on June 22. As we drove through majestic mountain ranges, we began to catch up on all the podcasts of the services we had missed since the beginning of the sabbatical in early April. I was so impressed by how integrated and seamless the teaching series progressed as teachers and congregation worked their way through the “Good and Beautiful…” material by James Smith. I was now in a place I could enjoy listening. Together, Kathleen and I enjoyed Joanna’s introduction to the series followed by Dean, Carl, Jessica, Sandra, Alec, Andy, Jamie, Dawn, and Darla’s teaching. We both thought that the intergenerational sermons by Joanna and Dawn were particularly outstanding. In addition, we could just imagine the amazing faithful teams of volunteers offering themselves in support week after week to keep our church healthy and thriving – all such an important part of making our sabbatical possible.

The weather was perfect as we enjoyed our drive through the spectacular Roger’s Pass. My parents were celebrating their 60^th anniversary that week, so when we arrived in Calgary, we drove straight to their place in the deep southeast and stayed with them for the first few days. We took advantage of this time to savour and enjoy the treasure they are to us.

Our granddaughter, Annalies, playing the violin for  her great
grandparents at their 60th anniversary party, June 28.

Kathleen and I enjoyed many wonderful walks and talks, while we looked over the Bow River and Valley from Cranston Ridge, with the backdrop of the Rockies lining the horizon where prairie meets the sky. Together, my sister, brother and I had planned a family celebration with four generations of our immediate families in attendance. The celebration was held on a very warm Sunday evening, June 28, hosted in the back yard of my sister’s place in Lake Bonavista. One after another, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren gave tribute through toasts, songs, poems, stories – some of them hilarious of course. Everyone, including myself, gave tribute to the heritage that my mom and dad had given them. It is a heritage that included unconditional love that was sacrificial, self-giving service, hospitable, generous, all backed by a witness of prayer and godly examples. All of us could testify to the power of my parents prayers. There was so much joy that we all shared that day. We took lots of photos to preserve memories we will cherish forever.

After my parents’ anniversary celebration, we packed up and moved to the northwest of the city to stay with our daughter Danielle and family for a few days, days that were packed with delight and wonder. Highlights were taking Samuel (11) and Annalies (9) to Jurassic World – what an adrenaline rush! Then, we shared an early birthday celebration for Samuel. Dee and I took a posse of Samuel with his friends and siblings to a trampoline park. For much of the time, I entertained Hannah (4 at the time) while the older kids were engaged in their activities. Hannah is extremely athletic so I jumped with her for two hours on all kinds of trampolines, and got stuck in the foam ball pit! I think I was the oldest guy in the place. I paid for it all later with aching muscles and joints for five days. Hey, it was worth it!

Before we headed back to BC, we had one more wonderful family reunion, this time with Kathleen’s side of the family on Canada Day. Then we headed to Osoyoos for another two weeks – the first one of prayer and quiet, the second one with our kids and grandkids who joined us before we returned to Vancouver.

On our way to Osoyoos, we listened to more VEV podcasts. One podcast highlight (and there were many) occurred while we were driving through Peachland. As we drove alongside spectacular Okanagan Lake, memories flooded my mind of the significant healing that had occurred for me in this very place 27 years ago. At that time, I was in rehabilitation from a severe nervous breakdown which I had suffered in Calgary in 1988. Subsequently, I had spent nearly a year in the area we were now driving through. (This was when we met David Ruis and had our first introduction to the Vineyard.) Right at that moment, we were listening to Jessica’s Mother’s Day message and she was reading the Scripture, “This is love, not that we loved him but that he loved us…” (1 John 4:10). I wept as I drove, mindful that these were the exact words that God had spoken to me in my devastation and brokenness 27 years ago, giving me hope that he was restoring me to life again. We were then literally driving right by our formerly rented lakeside summer house near Peachland when this occurred. It was so tender. It was like I heard God say, “See, I was with you there. I’m with you now, too.”  

After several attempts at a group selfie, we
finally asked for help!

We then enjoyed our wonderful two weeks at Spirit Ridge in Osoyoos, a place on First Nations land that has become so special to us and our family. During one of our days there, I recorded these words in my journal. Ah such beautiful days… the weather has been superb. I look out from my deck and see the lake like glass reflecting the trees on the shoreline, with the town and semi-arid mountains rising beyond against the blue sky mixed with the haze of mid-summer and perhaps a slight residue of smoke from the burning forests in the province. It’s been a long hot dry summer. The smoke seems better today. Jesus, what can I say? Thank you. Father, what can I say? Thank you. Holy Spirit, what can I say? Thank you. I am looking forward to returning to work, which is a very good sign.

The night of our return to Vancouver,
July 17

Finally, we completed the trek home through Princeton and Hope, arriving back in Vancouver on Friday, July 17. All was peaceful. It was time to begin re-entry. We arrived to the most spectacular sunset we had seen all summer. As Kathleen and I gazed in wonder together from our bedroom deck, I heard Jesus say, “Welcome home.” 

An Artist, Not a Magician

This past Sunday, we began our New Year’s teaching series on the Book of Genesis, specifically looking at the creation story in the first chapter. As we worked through the text, I was intrigued that the heavens and earth that God created were described in verse 2 as “formless and empty.” Why would an all-powerful God create a “chaotic mess?”

Over the weekend, this phrase kept coming into my mind: “God is an Artist, not a Magician.” Think of this: He could have easily waved his hand and created the heavens and earth, plants, animals and people into existence in an instant. However, it seems that he first made a form of divine “modelling clay,” because he wanted his creation to be a work of art, not a magical show. To use the scientific term, He first made “matter,” the substance out of which he formed earth, water, and sky. 

According to geology, he took his time, skillfully forming the heavens, earth, and oceans, and then filling them with stars, and trees, animals, and sea life, saving his most skillful work for his highest creation: humanity.  The exclamations of “this is good” throughout Genesis 1 indicate that God was having a good time. He found a great amount of enjoyment in applying himself to his artwork of creation. Indeed, perhaps to underline the point, the literature “genre,” of Genesis 1 is poetic – an artistic description of the creation story, told with symmetry and beauty.  

This past Sunday, Kathleen and I had prepared for an intergenerational service but with January 1^st falling on Friday, it made for a long weekend and Sunday was also the last day of the Christmas break. So, a lot of folks were still away, and we had two children instead of our usual crowd. It was the kind of Sunday where I used to feel like resigning after it was over, but I've learned how that kind of shallowness causes me to miss the special surprises that God loves to do.  

This dolphin was a hit. Way to go, Christine!

Our daughter, Dee, and her husband, Markus, who had already returned to Calgary, had donated some modelling clay to VEV prior to their departure. We planned on using this for a craft activity for the children during the teaching. With so many children away, Kathleen quickly adjusted her plan. In addition to including our two children present, Saoirse and Amy, she invited adults to practice their creativity on the modelling clay during the half hour that I preached on the Creation story. The images you see came from the creativity of children and adults during those few moments. Enjoy!

What are the implications of God being an Artist, not a Magician? It means that God is active and engaged in our lives, but he does not operate like a candy machine, or reduce himself to formulas, easy fixes, and pat answers as we walk in relationship with him. He wants to meet all our needs, but he will not be controlled and manipulated. Art is relational  Magic is utilitarian and manipulative.

We see this in the life of Jesus. The nature of his temptation in the wilderness was to practice magic.  The devil’s rasping voice hissed at him, “If you’re the Son of God, jump down from the temple! Turn this stone into bread. Impress people! Dazzle them!” Not only is our culture addicted to this approach, it is a constant temptation for those in Christian ministry too. While Jesus had the power to do these things, he refused to relate to his Father as a source of magical power. He also refused to allow people to relate to him that way. Note the variety of ways that he engaged people and responded to their needs. He made mud out of spit and dirt and applied it to a blind man’s eyes. He touched the leper when no one else would. He bantered in conversation with a Gentile woman about “dogs getting the crumbs.” He told a quadriplegic that his biggest need was forgiveness, and then healed him. With a pressing deadline, He stopped in the middle of a large crowd for a woman who reached out in faith to touch the fringe of his robe. He refused to simply be "used," and to move on until he had interacted with her relationally. He told Nathanael that he saw him under the fig tree. He told Peter the fisherman that he would be a “fisher of people.”

Jesus does not approach us with “one-size-fits-all” solutions because as humans created in the image of God, each of us are unique and he accords us that respect because he wants a relationship with us. He does not see us as a source of income that he cane "use," or as a means to further his agenda. He sees us as cherished, loved and as "works of art,” created in his own image.

It also tells us of the value of beauty. In the creation narrative, when God “saw that it was good,” the word includes a sense of beauty. He invites us as humans, created in his image, to create with him and to live our lives as art, and to make the world a more beautiful place. We do so by simply giving back to him what he has given us - nothing more or less. 

If you’re reading this, and you happen to be a magician by trade or hobby, my apologies if I have offended you, but all is not lost. Some magic can be redeemed if it is approached as art and has not bought into manipulation of power or people. Sleight of hand that is “faster than the eye” can provide healthy entertainment value and joy to a party, and as such, can be an art in its own rite. 

Anyway, enjoy the pics and "catch up" on the first sermon in the series by doing so if you missed it. Some of the work was so detailed, I’m not sure the “artists” heard the sermon, but they got the point! Last but not least, it seems God was also having fun and sent a sign. This giant eagle was perched on the cross during the sermon and watched over us as we departed.